英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。在公司、学校、家里英语笑话都能为我们的生活带来一丝丝的欢声笑语。小编分享，希望可以帮助大家!
：Don't Argue with Children
不要和小孩争论
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一个小女孩和她的老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。
她的老师说：“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那个小女孩说约拿一位西伯来先知就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。
她的老师非常生气，她再次告诉小女孩说：“从身体构造角度来讲，鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”
那个小女孩说：“那等我到了天堂，就去问问约拿。”
她的老师问：“那么，假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”
那个小女孩回答：“如果是那样的话，你就去问他。”
：A Duel 决斗
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice ofweapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
小彼得从操场回到家时，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。
显然他刚与人恶斗了一番，而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得说，我向拉里挑起决斗，而且我让他挑选武器。”
“嗯，”父亲说，“这看上去很公平!”
“我知道，但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”
：Neither
都不是
It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.
At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"
"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."
正值当地竞选时期，候选人到他的区域的千家万户登门拜访。
候选人来到了一家门口，一个小男孩开了门。“告诉我，年轻人，”候选人问道，“你母亲是在共和党还是在民主党?”
“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”
：Lady First
女士优先
A teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence 'The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is notcorrect. The lady must be mentioned first."
一位老师问班上的学生：“‘公牛和母牛在田里’这个句子对吗?” 大多数学生回答说：“对，一点不错。” 只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。”
：Count Tomorrow Morning
明天早上数
It's a right. John is looking at the sky.
Tom is John's younger brother. He asks John "What are you doing?"
John says, "I'm counting stars.”
Tom laughs and says, "It's really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?"
这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。
汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么?”
约翰说：“我在数星星。”
汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”
